Ep.56 Ask the Expert: Love After Divorce with Pastor Buddy Walker (Part 1)

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this interview with Pastor Buddy Walker of Faith Christian Fellowship Tavares Florida and Director of Empower School and Farm, he describes his own story of divorce and shares nuggets he learned along the way. 

Key Takeaways

• God hates divorce but he loves divorcees (2:41)
• When we don't deal with the hurts from our past they can destroy our future relationships/marriage (6:05)
• When we take all the blame we're saying the other person is the victim. This leaves the door open to unresolved issues (11:53)
• Taking all the blame isn't the same as forgiving the other person (12:42)
• A marriage or relationship can only truly be restored if the individual has repented and repentance is a choice (17:30)

Top Quotes

• Initially, the effect that the infidelity had on me was I felt great shame, and a lot of guilt. I...put all of the blame on myself, that if I had been a better husband, if I had been more attentive, if I had devoted more time, she would not have made the choices that she made (11:16)
• God helped me to identify the areas that I needed to repent of and, with his help, make changes in...Then to recognize there was sin on her side also and that she needed to acknowledge that sin and that I needed to be able to extend God's forgiveness towards her (13:15)
• It's so important when you've been through the trauma of a divorce to to really spend time with the Lord, allowing him to heal your heart, allowing him to direct you on how to respond (19:51)
• Another thing that I felt like the Lord directed me in was to show mercy. Not not being there to support wrong decisions but not to be vengeful in any way. Not to do anything to try to make her pay a price for what had happened (21:21)
• I began to realize that my pain was connected with my feelings for her and that something had to change. And there came a point where I asked the Lord to take away those feelings of wanting to be with her...That prayer got answered (22:31)
• The word divorce is used in the Bible and I had one leader say to me, "that word is in the Bible because God Himself put it there and recognizes that a marriage can be broken to the point that it's irreconcilable" (29:17)
• God can heal a marriage from infidelity, but do not ever underestimate the power of infidelity to end your marriage permanently (29:53)

Resources

• Scripture: Malachi 2:16, 1 Corinthians 14:25

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