Ep.45 The Chat Room: 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce with Carole & Shellie-Ann' (Part 1)

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, divorcees Carole and Shellie-Ann share their experiences before and during marriage and explain what led to the separation and later divorce. The stories are raw and heartfelt and filled with nuggets we can learn from. 

Key Takeaways

• The  shame and hurt of breakups, separation and divorce usually cause us to  believe that people are criticizing and chastising us. So we end up  pulling away from people when what they really want to do is love us  through it (8:19)
• Breakups,  separation and divorce will cause us to self-blame and negative  self-talk usually causes us to curse ourselves so we have to be careful  of that (11:15)
• The healing process may require that we let go of shared assets, forgive the person, apologize (16:58)
• We  may find ourselves in a tail spin because separation and divorce may  result in a lack of security and stability e.g. we no longer have dual  income to support our bills (26:46)
• We  don't make enough of an effort to find ourselves/our identity. So that  in our lowest moments we can say I know who I am regardless (33:22)

Top Quotes

• Even  though you love the person you'll come to the point where you have to  say you have to do what is best for you at that particular point in  time...And I literally had to run for safety (2:54)
• I'm a Christian. I don't want to get divorced. What are people going to say, you know, that kind of thing (5:06)
• After  a while, you understand that people are with you. People are for you in  this devastating time and people want to give you the support, but we  ourselves block people from speaking because we are not yet ready (6:54)
• There  may be a one or two persons criticizing or looking and scuffing what  persons are usually cheering you on. And what you don't get the  opportunity to enjoy the encouragement (8:19)
• I  got to another stage where I came to the reality and the Lord revealed  that, no remember that passage that says, He causes all things to work  together for our good. So it means there are lessons in this for you to  learn (13:55)
• There  was a slot on here for status, and then ever had separated. I wasn't  yet divorced. And so I said to the lady, I don't have a status (30:16)
• I wonder how much I was new. We no longer have a status. We no longer live or belong anywhere? (33:49)

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