Ep.17 Ask the Expert: 'Emotional Dangers of Premarital Sex' (Part 1)

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Ask the Expert, Dr. Thomas Lickona takes us through the first 5 of the 10 emotional dangers of premarital sex. He also shares anecdotes and research findings which confirm that these emotional dangers can be quite detrimental. Dr. Lickona explains that sexual purity frees us from emotional anxieties.

Key Takeaways

Engaging in sexual purity and moral conduct will result in improved familial, peer and marital relationships and in improved grades/academics (9:01)
Sex has consequences which may hit us immediately or after an extended period (12:25)
The guilt of hooking up can stay with us for decades (16:31)
Both men and women experience emotional hurts because of premature sex (19:21)
Guilt may drive you to have an abortion (24:27)
Pornography results from the loss of self control and is really treating people as if they're less than persons (34:35)

Top Quotes

Our entire person, our mind, our body, our feelings are involved (in sex). And that's why sexual intimacy has potentially powerful emotional consequences (7:26)
We can make a new beginning. We can walk down a different path. We have the strength to do that we can call upon the grace of God (11:15)
We really do need to have God as a partner in living a life of sexual integrity, a life of sexual self control (11:44)
We have an emotional freedom from anxieties (worry about pregnancy and disease) if we are not engaging in behavior outside of the relationship of marriage (15:10)
Your conscience can bother you a lot if you treat sex as a casual thing (21:47)
If a guy is doing pornography there's a problem and you either want him to break off, get help and the stop the behavior or find yourself somebody else because it's a big danger signal in a relationship (34:06)

Resources

Article: 10 Emotional Dangers of Premature Sexual Involvement
Article: The Real Deal About Pornography
Article: The Intrinsic Meaning of Sex
Book: Sex, Love and You: Making the Right Decision

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Dr. Thomas Lickona

Developmental Psychologist, Professor of Education Emeritus & Founding Director of The Center for the 4th and 5th Rs

Thomas Lickona, Ph.D., is a developmental psychologist, professor of education emeritus, and founding director of the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs (Respect and Responsibility) at the State University of New York at Cortland, where he has done national award-winning work in teacher and parent education.

Moral Education: A Handbook calls him “the father of modern character education.” A past president of the Association for Moral Education, he speaks around the world on fostering moral values and character development in schools, families, and communities.

His eight books on moral development and character education have been translated into ten languages. They include Raising Good Children; Educating for Character (known as “the bible of the character education movement”); Character Matters; and (with Matthew Davidson) Smart & Good High Schools. Educating for Character received a Christopher Award “for affirming the highest values of the human spirit.” His forthcoming book, How to Raise Kind Kids: and Get Respect, Gratitude, and a Happier Family in the Bargain, will be published by Penguin in April 2018.

His Center’s work was the subject of a New York Times Magazine cover article, “Teaching Johnny to Be Good.” He received the Character Education Partnership’s “Sandy Award” for Lifetime Achievement in Character Education and the University of San Francisco’s Outstanding Achievement in Moral Education Award. He has been a guest on national media such as “Good Morning America,” “Larry King Live Radio,” “Focus on the Family,” and National … Read More